This blog was originally posted 2010, currently updated.

I have spent a lot of energy over the past 25 years entrenched in personal development, with so many great coaches and mentors, sharing what has worked for them and how it would impact my life to emulate their patterns.

I have taken it all in and have been overwhelmed at times, hearing something delivered with so much power that I was ready to cut my hair, shave and purchase a sport coat, thinking that was the missing piece. I was lead to believe by some, that people are threatened by appearances that are different then their own. The message was to conform.

Then two days after watching a video of a well-known speaker driving the message of a suit and tie, I received another video, the other side of the coin you might say.

In this video, I saw a guy, who looked like me—after a day at the beach, promoting a high price package sitting behind a table with the box of stuff in front of him, many times covering his mouth with his hands or the product. The over casual approach and body language raised my buttons and I turned it off without ever seeing the entire clip.

This alarmed me that I was put off by someone who looked closer to me than the suit and tie guy. Was I secretly afraid of his look and did not want to trust him? Did I need to move closer to the “other side” to gain acceptance? More confusion arose when I learned that the long hair guy, reportedly sold millions of dollars of product in just a couple of days with this clip.

You can never say the wrong thing to the right person or the right thing to the wrong person.

What I learned was to thy known self be true. Trying to fit in to another view of what is easier from them to handle, will lead to inner turmoil, always chasing for someone’s approval.

No manner what we are promoting, the real product is you. People will be drawn to you and your personality and values. There are a huge number of things people are looking for in any relationship—personal, or business—there is more than enough for all without trying to clone one another as the only way. Systems and duplication are important but need to be tweaked depending on the audience.

What has worked for you? I am interested in learning from your experiences in being true to yourself and creating a public image that people are drawn to.

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