As parents of an autistic daughter, we eventually realized the profound importance of helping our daughter, Gabbi, develop emotional awareness. For many years, all three of us were entrenched in what we now refer to as the "Red Zone," a space dominated by negative emotions. Gabbi, being a minimal speaker, struggled with communication, which only added to her anxiety and frustration. Additionally, her heightened sensory sensitivity meant that everyday occurrences like loud noises, bright lighting, or sudden stops in traffic could lead to severe dysregulation.
Gabbi's constant state of anxiety also had a ripple effect on our family. My husband, Pier, and I found ourselves frequently in the Red Zone, overwhelmed by emotions that often spiraled into a cycle of despair and helplessness. It was at my own lowest point, when I felt completely consumed by negative emotions, that I made a conscious decision: I had to prioritize my mental and emotional well-being not only for myself, but also to guide Gabbi towards a healthier emotional state. Pier joined me in this commitment, and together we sought ways to embrace more positive emotions for longer periods of time.
Throughout this transformative journey, we developed what evolved into our three zone emotional guidance scale to monitor our feelings. It’s interesting how, although you sense negative emotions, it isn’t until you introspectively check in that you can truly identify what you’re experiencing—be it worry, anger, or fear—and recognize the thoughts behind these emotions. This practice enabled us to become more emotionally conscious, equipping us with tools to better manage our emotional landscapes.
With our newfound emotional awareness, we began to teach Gabbi how to identify her own emotions as well. We displayed the emotional guidance scale prominently on our refrigerator and encouraged Gabbi to "check in" regularly. At first, her responses were simplistic—she would indicate her Zone: Red for negative, Green for positive. Notably, she rarely selected Yellow, which represents more neutral emotions, suggesting her tendency to experience extremes.
As Gabbi's emotional awareness started to deepen, we found new ways to support her. Recognizing when she was slipping into the Red Zone allowed us to intervene with strategies that provided comfort and reassurance. Simple techniques, such as guiding her through deep breathing exercises or offering a big hug, which provided the pressure she needed to regulate, became invaluable tools in her emotional toolbox.
Through this ongoing journey, our family has learned that emotions can indeed be navigated with intention and mutual support. By prioritizing our own emotional health, Pier and I have become more effective guides for Gabbi, helping her to better understand and manage her emotions. In turn, Gabbi’s growth has illuminated a path of hope and resilience for all of us, proving that with patience, love, and the right tools, even the most challenging emotional landscapes can transform into spaces of healing and connection
Get your Emotional Guidance Scale now here: https://www.neuro-shifts.org/emotional-guidance-scale