Enjoy this holiday season and be mindful of the
ways in which you give and receive. The quotes abound on this subject. I like
the quotes that highlight the balance between the two and the attitude with
which we give and receive. When I give to others, I feel grateful and happy that
I have enough to share; and when I receive a gift or kindness from another, I
feel joyful and grateful too! They both feel wonderful to me. This article
shares my tips on how to bring more balance to and get more enjoyment out of
giving and receiving.
We
give our possessions, money,
time, attention, and actions. We also share with others our personhood and inner
values--joy, peace, compassion, enthusiasm, understanding and more. We
receive from others and Life. People give us tangible gifts,
comfort, help in a time of need, and praise for who we are and what we do. Life
also gives to us in subtle and not so subtle ways: I gave thanks when I found
the doctor who saved my life, met my husband, and received a lucrative contract
for my work.
An imbalance in giving and receiving can diminish the
satisfaction and enjoyment we experience in life. Too much giving leads to
serving others without regard for ourselves. Adults who do not set limits on
their resources (attention, time, energy, money and people) and deny their
desires or preferences give themselves away. They may resent giving or become a
victim to it. (Saints, avatars and missionaries are destined to serve mankind
with little thought for themselves.) Too much receiving leads to a selfish sense
of entitlement. Both powerful and powerless adults may expect others and life to
do for them and do not develop the ability to cope with life’s challenges and
grow personally.
When you give and feel uplifted and joyful in your giving,
that is the “right” thing for you to do because your cup overflows with
something you have received from Life. When you receive and feel uplifted and
joyful, you give gratitude back to the giver. When the giving and receiving is
seen from this perspective, giving and receiving are a part of each other: From
this perception, we find ourselves participating in a sacred
cycle.
Below are a few tips that will bring more balance and harmony
into your giving and receiving and unite them in one harmonious
whole.
Giving:
- Give what
the other values. (Give of your time and attention if that is what is important
to the other person. Receive their smile of gratitude and feel the connection.)
- Give what
feels easy for you to give. (You might give money or a helping hand because you
have enough of what is needed. Receive the gift of making a difference.)
- Give from
your heart, without wanting something back. (Give from a place of joy and
abundance. Receive the feeling that your cup overflows with love.)
- Give to
yourself as well as others. (You are as important as anyone else; treat yourself
that way. Receive the feelings and pleasure the gift gives you.)
Receiving:
- Receive
without feeling obligated to give back (Allow yourself to enjoy a gift or help
without the need to earn it. Give the gift of gratitude.)
- Receive
with a joyful heart (Be gracious in your receiving because it is a natural part
of the divine order of life. Give thanks for your blessings and praise a Higher
Power.)
- Receive
without feeling negative emotions (Challenge any subconscious messages that make
you feel unworthy. Give yourself the gift of worthiness and entitlement.)
- Receive
the love others offer. (Receive the object, behavior or compliment with an open
heart and deep appreciation. Acknowledge the connection and perhaps give a hug.)
St. Francis of Assisi said,
“It is in giving that we
receive.” I believe that it is also in the receiving that we give. When we
give from the heart, we receive the joy of making a difference in someone’s
life. When we
receive from another, we give them the opportunity to
express their worth and honor us. I think it goes for life as well. Life is
always sending us gifts, and we have the opportunity to recognize the blessing
and express gratitude.
Be mindful of how you give and how you receive.
Avoid the extremes of selflessness and selfishness. Give in ways that feel
“right” to you with your personal resources. Notice what comes back to you.
Receive it with feelings of worthiness and gratitude. During this holiday
season, give thanks for being an instrument of giving and receiving and enjoy
the love and beauty all around you.
To live well longer, be mindful of
your giving and receiving and have gratitude for being an instrument of a Higher
Order.