How Forgiveness Heals You

Are you harboring resentment or anger toward someone whom you feel has wronged you or hurt you?

            Think for a moment what goes on inside your body as you hold on to this resentment and anger. As you hold tight onto negative feelings between yourself and the person you will not forgive, you maintain an emotional tie between yourself and the other person that binds you together like no other tie can. By not forgiving the person, you have committed yourself to, in essence, holding this person’s energy inside your heart like a stone. Yet, for most of us, when we resent someone, our heart is the last place we would want to have them.

            Non–forgiveness affects your well–being, not theirs. A non–forgiving, non–trusting, hostile attitude has been linked to heart disease and high blood pressure. Don’t you think it is a good idea to get rid of these negative emotions?

            Forgiveness is not only vital to your physical well–being, it is essential to your happiness.  Forgiveness leads to self–respect and self–acceptance, and a positive optimistic attitude. By forgiving, you release from yourself a large amount of negative energy. This creates a “void” in your subconscious that you can then fill with loving, positive energy. You feel freedom from the negative emotional bond with the other person, and you feel at peace with yourself for having “done the right thing.” You feel proud of yourself, more loving to yourself.

            Finally, if it really bothers you to think about forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply, remember this: they never have to know. You forgive mainly for yourself. Forgive for the good that it does for you. Perhaps later on you will have a change of attitude and decide to “mend fences” with the other person. Till then, forgive them without telling them, for your own health and peace of mind.

            An example of this happened to a student. She had a long–standing feud with a family member. She was adamantly non–forgiving. She was a sad, miserable person. But then, slowly, she began a transformation. She began to practice the principles of a positive mindset, and began to practice the Forgiveness Visualization, even though she was still not convinced that she could really forgive. Slowly, as she let go of the anger and frustration, a change took place in her personality. She became a warm, happy person. She commented on how people at work had noticed her “new” disposition. Then she decided to take the final step. She not only forgave the family member, she made up as well. After twenty years of feuding, she and the family member spoke for the first time. Whatever the problem was, it was put aside. The good feelings of having the family relationship back together were more important. Forgiveness became a gift as well as a tool of transformation.

            Is there someone you need to forgive?  It could even be yourself – your present self, or your past self. Let go of the resentment and negative energy that hurts you more than anyone else. Try the Forgiveness Visualization below. Repeat it as many times as necessary until you really feel the release and intuitively know that you have let go of all resentment and anger.

FORGIVENESS VISUALIZATION 

              Find a comfortable place and relax your body completely. Attune to your inner processes and allow yourself to relax into a quiet meditative state.  As you relax completely, see on your mental screen a stage, like actors and actresses use. On this stage see both yourself and the person you need to forgive.

            First state your resentments and the reasons for your anger to the other person. Take as much time as you need. Let out all the frustration, anger, hurt. Get all of your feelings out into the open; make it perfectly clear how you feel.

            Then let the other person have a turn. Stand quietly as the other person tells his or her side of the story, the reasons he or she acted the way they did. Do not interrupt; just listen. You may be surprised at what you hear.

            When the other person has finished, send him or her love. Imagine it as a large pink cloud emanating from your body and passing between the two of you to envelop the other. As the pink cloud surrounds the other person, see the image of this person begin to fade and dissipate into the cloud, until they become just a part of the cloud itself. Then see the pink cloud dissipate completely, until there is nothing left of it. As it dissipates, say to yourself, “I forgive you. I release you from my life.” Say this three times. Feel the weight lifting from your shoulders. Feel the exhilaration and freedom. Feel the peace of mind. Bask in the positive emotions for a few moments. Then say to yourself, “I love and approve of myself.” Take in a few deep breaths and slowly return to your waking state. Open your eyes, feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, peaceful and full of loving energy.

Adapted from Tools for Transformation, by Rita Milios. Available at: RitaMilios.LinktoEXPERT.com/Books.